First times...............

On another blog that i follow - Five of my own - i was reading about the first day at school for the girls daughters. 
Very first, never been, new to it all!!


It got me thinking about first days we've had. 
School obviously


Our 1st days went thus - Louise went to school, skipped off into the class, i walked home (in the rain!!) pushing Paul's pram and crying!
My daughter didn't need me any more. She was gone and that was it!!!


If only i'd known then, what i do now!!!!


Peter's 1st day - well, i was just  soooooo glad that he had got to a stage where he WOULD be going to school, that i sniffled all the way home in my  dad's car!!! He was at a diff school to Lou, and off he went with the teacher and totally ignored me!!!!!!


Paul's 1st day, School tie, brown shorts, blazer and postman pat rain jacket!!! It rained. And my poor boy was turning BLUE from the cold!! I was a BAAAADDDDD mum making him wear those shorts. But in my defence M'Lud, they were hard to come buy and expensive, so he was damn well wearing them!!!!


We have had various other first days since and i'm not too sure that i've cope that well with them either. When we moved house, Lou had to move school. Now, i do not regret the house move - best thing that we did. But the school move was traumatic and i could still feel the ripples when she moved to secondary school 4 years later. I no longer cry about the days she had at the school, but it wouldn't take much to take me back to them and make me cry again - even now.


Peter moved school a year later, which kinda floored me again - i didn't really see it coming. THe spec ed school he was in thought it wasn't the right place for him and we had to think of a better placement. I had spent 2 years investing time and effort and i had to start again.
By the time Lou and Peter got to secondary they were both on the 3rd school in there life - a lot of 1st days.
Paul on the otehr hand - didn't have that - 2 schools, more or less the same friends and maybe just a few hitches and a crazy mum to deal with.


We have more 1st days this year. Peter at college - new course, but i'm not sure about it. And Paul as well. He's started college.


Can you tell i don't dop well with 1st times at new things.
Lots of people think i'm quite outgoing and chatty, but i find it hard to break into that "crowd" of mums at the school gate, or in a new situation. I don't usually like breaking into a conversation or a group.


It weird tho, cos quite often, i'll be the one who goes to a new person and at least try to give them a shoehorn into a group or whatever!!!


I'm putting off thnking about this Naidex Exhibition. I know i have to stand up and talk and i know i should really get something prepared - but i keep thinking Mañana. Or more like "if i don't think too much, it might actually go away and they'll say they don't need me!!!


Take it i'll be the one going between a block of cement and a quivering jelly on the day!!!!