Being a carer............

.......... Can be lonely at times.



On the outside, we can look happy and in control. But in reality, we're a bit like ducks - all calm above the water, but feet going like fury in the water to try and keep going!!!



Thing us, not everybody under what it's like being a carer.

Actually, I don't think people really understand until a caring role lands in their life and things change.



Sometimes, you really just need someone to chat with, who "gets" that you are fed up and stressed. That you need to have a good moan about things, without being judged and people get your warped sense of humour, because they too can have a similar warped sense of humour!!!



But the thing is, we are always so busy, it's hard to get together with other carers. It can be a hassle and often you can think of 101 things you need to do.

So it's a bit of a vicious circle.



A number of years ago, a friend dragged me along to a carers support group.

At last, people to talk to.

And for a few years, it was good, getting the support, people to talk to. But things change and I was finding myself coming home more stressed than I had been before. Going along had become a habit and it just wasn't doing it for me.



So I then got involved with a FB carers group.

They are a crazy bunch mainly, I know some of them in real life and others in cyberspace. We can moan at each other, support and generally just try to make sure that we don't get .that lonely feeling too often.



But i was finding that i really wanted some human company. One of the girls suggested I go along to another carers group. I was a bit, thanks, but no thanks. Been there, done that and I don't want to be stressed again.



But I found myself needing to chat to someone about stuff for Peter .



So I went along to the carers cafe.

I even found I knew a couple of people!!!



I'd forgotten how god it was to sit and chat, with a cuppa and maybe a nibble or two.

And it was worth the effort of getting myself out of the house for a bit.



A couple of weeks ago, the MP came along to have a chat with us. He wanted to find out what concerns we had and maybe help out if he could.

Going round the room, those who spoke all had something to tell. No matter who the person cares for, no one has an easy time and often a take would be told and we'd laugh, or say "That's not fair/right". Or others would tell of their experiences on a certain topic.

But the the comment that stopped me in my tracks was a comment from Rosemary. She had been to the GP recently and he asked how she was. Ach, alright she said. So the GP proved a bit deeper and she kind of admitted (as most of us carers do!!) that things were hard and she was feeling it.

The GP said "you know Rosemary, even Jesus had 12 friends to help him!

A lot of us carers just get on with it, because we think it's easier to just get on with it.



So it can be a vicious circle of being lonely, then just not being able to get out of it, because you're doing so much for the person you care for and it's a hassle to get out on your own for me time.



But it's been good the past while getting to know these carers. It's nice when someone asks how you are and doesn't matter if you grumble a bit, because you know that maybe in a week or two, you'll be that listening ear.



So, this time, I'm giving you a are treat.

I've just found out about Nicholas Wells from a fellow carer. This song kind of sums up, for me anyway, how carers support each other. You don't need to be there ALL the time, now and then can be good.



Oh, and the man likes cats. We KNOW  cats suss out the good people. His cats have told our cats he's a good guy!!

But I suspect that they just want some cat treats!!!