Today is stammering awareness day.
Now - I know for most of you, this means nothing, but when you live with someone who stammers, it becomes important that others are aware of how they treat the person who stammers.
To be honest, i came as a bit of a shock to me that Paul had a stammer - Peter's issues i could deal with because they'd been there since birth, but to suddenly (or maybe not!) have to deal with a child who was stammering - i wasn't quite sure what to do.
Eventually, we requested a referral to speech therapy, since it was obvious that things were not going to get better on their own. I asked the ST @ Peter's school for advice on how long I should wait before we did the referral and how i should deal with it.
Time went by and still no date for an appointment. So, i got the number for the ST's @ Yorkhill. Liz must have wondered what kinda madwoman i was, but thankfully she DID listen, made sure Paul was on the right list for an assesement and eventually we saw someone.
By this time Paul was primary 6 and i was well aware of time marching on and a move to secondary @ the end of P7.
Now - i won't go into boring details, but the next few years involved therapy, being part of an honours student's project, going to BSA family days, being involved in filming for the BSA, having strategies in place and just generally getting on with ,well, life.
The filming was great (but i still cannot look @ myself!!) and it was great for Paul to be involved with this - at last - HE (and others) could tell teachers and other kids just what it was like for HIM. He wasn't stupid (if anything he's one smart cookie!) and he could do things a lot of other kids his age couldn't.
Working out the Harry Potter Theme tune without the music in front of him for one! (and i just thought this was "normal" for a 10 year old!!)
One thing we found brill was the communication passport - it meant that Paul could let his teachers and support staff know about his stammer and how they could help. Some teachers thought it was great, others a bit iffy, but no one ignored it! We made sure!!
Paul amazed his teachers by volunteering to speak at assembly and getting involved in school life - i think they were expecting a shy retiring wall flower!!
One thing my son does NOT do is shy and retiring!!!
Paul was discharged from ST and we were told if we needed them again, to get in touch. We had to do this as Paul moved up the school - about 4th year he was finding things hard again, but the ST gave him strategies to help again and we dealt with it.
So now - well we have a young man who has a good set of standard grades and Highers behind him. He's doing 6th year and planning to go to University to study music. One of the things that i think has kept him sane is the fact that he is GOOD at music. He has played 3 times in the Royal Concert Hall, taken part in workshops and a concert with the Band of the Royal Marines and had a great week of work experience in the local SEN school working a couple of days with the music teacher.
Yes, we have idiots - mainly adults who think it is ok to finish his sentences for him. He did take a teacher to task recently who wasn't too happy when he did. But my thinking was Act you age not your shoe size! She's known Paul for years - maybe time to revisit the passport and the "give me time to speak" rather than just think he's being cheeky.
If someone you know stammers, take time to listen to them - you'll often find that they have something good to tell you! (think Churchill and Issac Newton!!). As if there is anything you can do to help support them - but puleeezzzeee - don't patronise them. Sometimes it's just something simple that will help.
And thanks to Liz, Eilidh and Morag who all at times have been on this journey with us and have helped Paul and dealt with the maddie who is is mother. I'm sure the years of therapy they will need to help them overcome the trauma will help.
And me - i have a great son and to use the words of Chris Rea ............"who needs to dream when you know you can fly?"
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